BY AARON PAUL
If you want to know how the Grand Canyon National Park began, you have to read about the bill that created it. But since it’s no holiday to pore over the Congressional Record of the 65th Congress, the floor debate, I assure you, went about like this:
Mr. Thomas of Colorado. Didn’t we already make the Grand Canyon a national park?
Mr. Ashurst of Arizona. Nope.
Mr. Thomas. You sure?
Mr. Ashurst. Yep, I grew up pretty close to it. It’s a national monument.
Mr. Thomas. Well, you don’t say. It’s a great plan. Count me in.
The bill was read a third time and passed.
Mr. Stafford of Wisconsin. I’m all for this national park idea. But why does this bill let the Interior Secretary run a railroad through it?
Mr. Hayden of Arizona. The train would go from Utah to the North Rim. The views beat the south side, if you can get there. Without a train.
Mr. Stafford. They can’t put a railroad through the canyon proper?
Mr. Hayden. Are you joking? It’s pretty steep.
Mr. Stafford. I see. What about a dam? Can they put one of those in the Grand Canyon?
Mr. Hayden. You bet.
Mr. Stafford. Would you be up for capping the maintenance budget for the park?
Mr. Hayden. No.
Mr. Stafford. Then how about we take over Coconino County’s toll business on the Bright Angel Trail? Open it up to everybody, for free.
Mr. Hayden. No.
Mr. Stafford. Okay, whatever. Can’t win a vote back home either. I’ll just sit down.
Mr. Anthony of Kansas. Hey, I’ve heard the Railroad Administration is rationing tickets to visit the Grand Canyon. What gives?
Mr. Hayden. News to me.
Mr. Anthony. Yeah, some developers who have sights on the canyon complained. I was at a loss.
Mr. Hayden. Seriously though, I have no clue what you’re talking about. I’ll ask around. Mr. Speaker, can we consider this bill in the House as in Committee of the Whole?
The Speaker (Mr. Clark of Missouri). The Clerk will report the bill.
The Clerk read the bill and a half-dozen committee amendments.
The Speaker pro tempore (Mr. Raker of California). Are we good with all those amendments?
Mr. Madden of Illinois. Not me. Can someone tell me why it’s a good idea to give the Interior Secretary the power to route a railroad through the park?
The Speaker pro tempore. You’re out of line, Madden. We’ll have to take the amendments one by one.
Several amendments were read and passed. The clerk read another, about park concessions.
Mr. Treadway of Massachusetts. Wait, this part here about concessions, aren’t we setting visitors up to be gouged?
Mr. Hayden. No, we’ll give the contract to the best bidder, not necessarily the highest one.
Mr. Treadway. But all else being equal, the man who bids high will get the contract, and he’ll have to charge more to make a profit, no?
The Speaker pro tempore. Time’s up, Treadway. Close your trap.
Mr. Tilson of Connecticut. Hold up. So someone who’ll pay us $1,000 for the contract could be outbid by someone who’ll pay us $500?
Mr. Hayden. Bingo. Am I going to have to repeat this again?
The amendment was passed. The clerk read the next, which would empower the Interior Secretary to authorize a rail line through the park.
Mr. Madden. Now, just a minute. It seems fishy to me to let the Interior Secretary run trains through the park. Why can’t we leave it for Congress to figure out?
Mr. Hayden. Look, it’s a simple deal. There’s a boatload of timber in the North Kaibab. If we let a railroad sell some of it, they’ll run a line right down to the park so that folks can take a look. Nobody’s going to mess up the scenery with a choo-choo.
Mr. Madden. Oh yeah, how do you know what the Interior Secretary’s going to do in a hundred years?
Mr. Hayden. Well, I know for sure how much more time we’ll waste bickering about trains if we leave it up to Congress.
Mr. Madden. I move to strike the part about railroads.
The Speaker pro tempore. The question before the House is the committee amendment.
A voice vote was taken.
The Speaker pro tempore. Sounds to me like the noes had that one.
Mr. Hayden. No way. Count heads.
The House divided—ayes 18, noes 7.
The Speaker pro tempore. Whoops. Ayes it is. The amendment stands.
Mr. Madden. I can’t believe there are only 25 people here while we’re giving handouts to the railroads. So pathetic.
The next amendment was read. Madden and Hayden squabbled over hunting in the park. Madden capitulated. The bill was read a third time.
Mr. Graham of Illinois. Hey, I have some questions. There is a tribe of Indians in this park called the Hopi Indians?
Mr. Hayden. Wrong. Havasupai.
Mr. Graham. Gotcha. They’re covered by the part in the bill about Cataract Creek?
Mr. Hayden. Yup. Where it talks about the Havasupai Tribe. Covered right there.
Mr. Graham. Right. So, I’ve got an idea. Do you think Coconino County would donate that Bright Angel Trail to us so that we can run it?
Mr. Hayden. Seriously? We’ve covered this already. The County’s making $2,000 a year out there. Let it go.
Mr. Graham. Fine. But what’s with this section that outlaws building anything between the rim and nearby private property?
Mr. Hayden. That’s for the chap who owns the Grand View Hotel. Turns out, his property line is a lot farther from the rim than he thought. He doesn’t want to have to change the hotel’s name.
The Speaker pro tempore. This whole line of questioning is out of order. Can we just pass this thing already?
Mr. Graham. But I have more to ask.
The Speaker pro tempore. You have to get permission, Graham.
Mr. Graham. Just five minutes. I swear.
There was no objection.
Mr. Graham. So, how much private land is there on the rim? Are we creating a monopoly?
Mr. Hayden. It’s just El Tovar, Grand View, and a little plot that belongs to the postmaster. No monopolies, I assure you.
The Speaker pro tempore. Okay, let’s vote, for crying out loud.
The question was taken, and the bill was passed.
Mr. Ashurst. Hey fellas, we finally got our Grand Canyon bill back from the House. Should we make a law?
The motion was agreed to.
And lo, on February 26, 1919, the act was signed into law by the President of the United States.
Aaron Paul is a staff attorney for the Grand Canyon Trust. Have an idea for his next column? Send it by post attn: Obiter Dicta, Advocate Magazine, Grand Canyon Trust, 2601 N. Fort Valley Rd., Flagstaff, AZ 86001.
